The more I travel along this journey called motherhood the more I realize that children are comparable to drunks. They have many eerie similarities. They don't often make sense when talking, they fall lots and bounce more, they have tempers where they can often be found forgetting what it was all about in the middle of it, they sometimes refuse to wear clothes....especially at the most inappropriate times, and they often say things they don't mean. The latter of these proved very true for us a few weeks ago. After taking my eight year old son to school one day I set forth to accomplish much in his room, as he is getting a new bed and giving the old one and his night table to his sister. I noticed something scribbled on the wall near his door and in moving closer I realized it said "fuck mom, mom is stopid"...that is "mom is stupid" in kid speak. My first instinct? Write (in much bigger letters) NO, FUCK YOU! right beside it on the wall, but I guess that's a no-no for parents. I had to wait until he got home from school and do the whole "What were you thinking?" thing. I have to admit though, the look on his face when it hit him that he had left his graffiti on the wall was priceless! I assume he did it in the heat of the moment and being in pencil I also assume it was never meant to be seen. Another quality kids and drunks share? Forgetfulness. He seemed pretty remorseful and I am well aware of his ability to blow things way out of proportion, so this I am thinking was likely done when I told him he couldn't play in the sprinkler and he sulked off to his room. I also gave him a blank notebook that I told him he could write anything in. The words on the wall were unacceptable there, but if he has to get those things out....better it be in this book and this book only. We could have a talented but brooding rock star on our hands in the future...how can I censor that!? Later that night as I was taking the night table apart to be painted for his sister, I noticed on the inside of the drawer...."mom sucks". At least that was spelled right.
Fast forward to yesterday, I was cleaning his room and came across the notebook. Yes, I did it, I took a little peek. One entire page was filled with the words "fuck cavan he put me to bed early!" I had to giggle...just like Cavan (the stepdad) did when we found the writing on the wall, he was surpirsed it said nothing about him. He got his just desserts though!
I should probably end this entry right about now. My potty training princess aka Lush, is pissing on the floor beside me. I think I made my point.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
You're too funny! At least you can get a laugh out of it. When Carissa wrote that I was a "picky ass bitch" I cracked up. At least they don't feel a need to censor themselves!
What a great way you dealt with it. I probably would have freaked but I learned a different approach. Thank you for the lesson as I'm sure my turn is coming, if it already hasn't. lol!
Hahaha Helen! I was 14 when I did it to my mom. Called her a bitch and then ran like HELL!!
Lori! Picky ass bitch! I probably would have laughed too!
Devon, your comparison to drunks is so hilarious. That really cracked me up. I really like the notebook idea. I would have been tempted to look as well. You are doing great with him Devon. You aren't stopid at all!!!
LMAO!!!!
I wish Paula would write more and speak less! At least she hasn't called me stopid or a picky ass bitch. Yet.
Oh, that was too funny!!
I love the way you are dealing with this kind of stuff! what a great mom.
You are brilliant. This entry had me on the floor, I had to read it out loud to Rick... who was laughing as hard as I was.
Good for you for getting your eldest drunk the book! He's totally going to be a rock star, and he's going thank his mom at the Grammys for being his inspiration. ;]
Post a Comment