OK fat girls, we need to talk. I know you can't "see" me but just trust me...I'm a fellow fatty. It's like black people calling each other the "n" word...I'm allowed to call you a fatty if you're tipping the scale at 2 bills. Please for the love of God just stop trying to pretend that you're not fat. You know it, I know it....embrace it! They have special stores for ladies like us! Just for us! They are more fashionable than they used to be, and most of the women working there are *gasp* fat! It's like our own little (or big) club. So stop trying to squeeze all that junk into those tiny pants and tops. There won't be a material shortage anywhere in the near future trust me...use what you need. Seriously, the skinny clothes slim you down because they squeeze the crap out of the area they cover, but that blubbers gotta go somewhere Honey, and it's hanging out over your pants and under your shirt! You look like a roll of cookie dough that was stepped on. Just stop it!! Sure it's a nice outfit...just not for you! Respect yourself enough to tuck that shit in! I think maybe if you dress like that you are either in denial, or you think that people will look at you and think "Wow, that girl has confidence. Good for her!" NO! It's false confidence! You can dress a hippo in squirrels clothing...but it's still not a squirrel! I'm not fooled, but maybe that's the knowledge I've gained in my years as a fat girl. You're giving us all a bad name....so just please stop.
P.S. That picture was actually taken by me...not a picture OF me!
14 comments:
Thank you! I have a very blunt friend who comes shopping with me and my other fatty girlfriends. Of a pair of grey dress pants she once said "They make you look like an elephant". It's good to have that kind (and your kind) of honest input around. Saves me from going outside and looking like an elephant. Or like a hippo in squirrel's clothing. :)
I was starting to think maybe it was just an epidemic around here in my hometown...and I can't very well say these things to a strangers face...or can I!?
tee hee. you gave me a smile! LOve you Devon!
You CRACK me up Devon!!! Thanks for the smile =)
By the way..no pun intended! haha!
Oh yes... I know all about making fun of one's own. How do you think I get away with the Jew jokes?
And, I'm am so happy because two of my favorite Canadians are now bloggy acquainted! Another bizarre connection, you both have Zoes in your family. Hmmmm...
Kismet?
Ok, dude, you need to have a warning before your entries "Do not consume beverages (especially fizzy carbonated ones) while reading blog. I accept no responsibility for any damage done to your computer screen by liquid sprayage"
You make me laugh so hard I have to stop in the middle and run to go pee. And that is a wonderful compliment!
As a fellow fat girl, I second what you are saying. I LOVE the hippo in squirrel's clothing phrase! You are a genius! Still giggling!
ROTFLMAO.
Ok, after seeing Meg's comment, and checking your profile...
I was just in Chatham this past weekend at Gregor's Crossing Medieval Faire. Any chance you were also there?
HA! I remember when you took that pic. I was dying!
Just say, "no" to crack!
Oh my LORD, Devon! I have always known you were funny since way back in the BBC days, but GIRL! This is great stuff. Please, please keep it up.
Oh, it's not just in your hometown either. Down here, when it gets hot, people shed clothes faster than butter melting on a hot skillet - no matter what size clothes they may be wearing. Sometimes, it's not pretty. ;)
Oh that is TOO FUNNY! Joe and I are laughing so hard we are snorting! HA!
Oh wow, is that even legal, showing your butt crack like that? You ought to campaign against that sort of thing. LMAO! Gives Canada a bad name.
You are just too funny!!!
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